Perfect in my eyes

I love you
More than anything I do

The way you smile
Whether it's real and it reaches your eyes
Or you're just trying to cheer me up

The way your bright blonde hair curls ever so slightly
Even though you hate it, and hide it
I love it when you let it be seen

The warmth of your arms around me
The way you hold on
Knowing just when to keep and when to let me go
So I will not break

The way you always try to make everyone laugh
Like your greatest joy in life is the joy of others
Filling the room with your energy
Never stopping even when you feel like the world is crumbling around you

You are sweet
And amazing
Cuddly
Funny
Warm
Bright
Sweet
Wonderful
And altogether the most perfect person I have ever seen
Even if your only perfect to me.

I love you.
More than anything.
I do.

My dream for the future.

When I was little I wanted to be an actress, I didn't know exactly what that entailed but it was what I wanted to be. I was told that was stupid and most people frowned on it. Instead I decided I wanted to be a forensic scientist, forensics always intrigued me and it was a steady job that paid well enough that my dad would approve; although he wanted me to be a lawyer. Years later I started acting again, I was immediately way better than I was before, I no longer had the stage fright, I did not mumble my lines, and I could speak in character. On the stage I felt free, I could express both myself and the character; put my own spin on the part; speak the words how I felt them, and make the audience feel that too. I knew that I wanted to be an actress. I never told my father knowing he wouldn't approve, my boyfriend is the only one I've talked about it in-depth with; he encourages my goals strongly, even when I don't believe I can do it. After thinking for a year I decided that acting in TV and film might not be the right direction for me, I'm not sure I could deal with any fame or moving constantly from place to place for filming; stage acting seems much more realistic and more me; so that's what I want to do.

Belief

My first and foremost belief is in other people, because if I do not believe in other people they cannot help me believe in myself, I need to have trust in other people to catch me when I fall and they need to trust me to do the same. My belief in people is something that is frequently strained as many betray the trust that I have in them but if I lose my belief I will lose myself with it. I am not religious, I have never had a strong belief in a higher power, and I have never believed in myself so my belief in the people that surround me is so important that I'm not sure I could really live without it.

Winter break

I spent most of my break getting caught up on the many TV shows I have been putting off watching because of school, going to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug with my mom, sister, and brother. On the Tuesday that school was supposed to start I instead hung out with a group of friends, exchanging gifts which we meant to do earlier but never had a day that worked for everyone, that night I officially started dating David Capannari although many people seemed to think that was already a thing. The rest of my break was spent scrolling through Tumblr for hours with a blank expression and a dead look in my eyes, or else texting David 24/7 which has been a thing for 4 months now. Also I got a phone, it's pretty cool.